


The Premonition the Winter Gave Me

by synchronized



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synchronized/pseuds/synchronized
Summary: Inspired by a song by BiBi of lovelive with the same name.





	The Premonition the Winter Gave Me

Jaemin stared at the crowd in the distance. The people are buzzing here and there, talking about tomorrow's plan with their friends or their loved ones. It's a day before Christmas and everyone is smiling from the excitement to spend the special day with whoever they have plan in mind. Despite the cold, it's gonna be a day full of warm smiles and hugs.

He scan at the scenery around him. The snow descend from the sky painting the view in white, the trees and the shops are decorated with colorful lights and decoration to fit the theme. There's also a small statue of santa and its ride, stuffed with boxes of presents, along with his reindeers. Jaemin smiled at how the children want to take a photo with it when they passed by. He then divert his gaze at the couple just below the white lights that has been shaped as love.

Jaemin's smile fell slowly from his lips. Oh how he wish he can do that with someone who he love. If only he hadn't fucked up a few months ago, their relationship won't be like this.

He doesn't realize that his eyes is already blurry with tears, hoping his eyes to find Jeno among the crowd.

-

Jaemin knows one thing for sure is that Jeno has play such a huge part on his life.

They've been friends since they were little and have been spending their life together ever since. There's no day that Jaemin could remember that doesn't involved Jeno with it, whether it's just any normal day like going to school or having a sleepover at other's houses, or special day like halloween or New year.

Christmas is no exception.

Jaemin always loved christmas. It's the day where joy and happiness came to those who celebrate it, the day where families and friends come together, the day where beautiful lights surrounded the city. Everything about christmas is wonderful to him.

He enjoy it more when he spend with the people he loves, and Jeno is one of them.

Their routine on christmas usually helping each other decorating their house (no need to ask for their parents permission since they knew each other very well anyway) on the 24th. The next day, they celebrate christmas with their families and then the boys would spend the day together play with the snow or go to ice rink. Sometimes they are just too lazy to go out so they would watch movies on their rooms and do another activities until night.

Jaemin always look forward spend christmas with Jeno, until a few months ago, when he revealed his true feelings to the smiling boy.

It was on the day of christmas when Jaemin came to Jeno's home to keep him company, smiles never left out from their lips as they keep fighting over the #1 spot on Mario Kart. In the end, Jaemin wins by a milisecond.

"No fair! You always get the good shit!" Jeno laughed as he nudge his arms.

"Not my fault that I have god side on me," Jaemin stuck his tounge out at him.

Jeno shake his head, "usually I want to do a rematch, but because I love you, I will let this slide, Nana" He chuckled, his eyes doing that cute eye-smile again.

Jaemin is sure Jeno mean it in a friendly way, he do that almost time, but everytime he said he love him, Jaemin always interpret it very differently.

It's not a suprise to know that Jaemin has developed feelings to his bestfriend, judging by how he becomes more touchy with the boy, giving him compliments, or how his body react like how his heart beat so rapidly whenever he is by his side or how his presence always calm Jaemin. The problem is, Jaemin doesn't know if Jeno either notice it and decide to ignore it, or he is really that oblivious.

Usually Jaemin just let it shrug and try to not think about it, but that day something just hit his mind to speak out about this matter.

The younger boy bit his lips, eyes staring at the screen so he won't be face-to-face with the boy. "Stop that." He whispered.

Jeno blinks at the sudden seriousness in his voice, not sure how to answer "uh.. what?" He said.

"Stop saying that you love me when clearly you don't." Jaemin emphasize his words.

"What are you saying, Nana?" Jeno raised one of his eyebrows at him.

Jaemin put his controller on the table and sighed. "I don't know, I mean, do you really love me?" He asked. "Love is such a strong word, Jeno, you cannot just say it so easily, especially to someone who might interpret it differently" The game is forgotten, he can sense that Jeno doesn't pay attention to it anymore.

"Nana, what do you mean?"

a small laugh escaped from Jaemin's lips. "Jeno, don't you notice?" He turn his head so he can look at the smiling boy in the eyes. "I give you so many signs, so many subtle touches and gestures, yet..."

He saw how Jeno thinking about his acts that he find suspicious, before he says "Nana, you always do that to everyone, how is that different from me?"

Jaemin scoffed, he did expect him to say that. "No I'm not, Jeno!" Jaemin say it out loud. "I might be so touchy to everyone, but not like that, not to you!"

Jeno just stared at him flustered.

The younger boy let out a big sigh. "I'm tired, Jeno", he started. "I'm tired of hearing you say 'I love you', hoping that you mean it differently. I'm tired of your sweet gestures because you always make my heart flutter. I'm tired of being jealous to Mark and Renjun, because I want us to be like that too." He divert his gaze downwards. "I'm tired of... you think of me as nothing but a friend" Jaemin closed his eyes to prevent his eyes forming a tears.

"I love you, Lee Jeno." He muttered. "I love you more than just a friend, I love you because I care for you, I love you because you always make me happy, I love you because you make me feel things I haven't know before, I love you because you are so important to me." He turn his head up so he can stare at the older boy again, braving his heart.

Jeno keep his eyes glued to him, but is fidgeting, uneasy.

"I'm gonna ask this once," Jaemin gulped. "Do you really love me?"

Silence engulf them, waiting for Jeno to say something. Only when he finally open his mouth that Jaemin knows he should have shrug it off like he used to.

"I'm sorry, Nana" Jeno said, hestitantly. "I... I don't know"

Jaemin could feel his heart gets heavier every second and his eyes is already blurry with tears. He look down to his lap, avoiding Jeno's gaze.

He stand up from his place, grabbing his stuff before leaving the place, ignoring Jeno's voice calling his name.

They don't talk for months after that. Jaemin keeps going back to their hang out place which is the park located near Jeno's house because he hope to see him there.

But he never saw him. Jeno never came.

-

Jaemin stared at his phone, his screen showing their latest chat about their christmas plans. His eyes are glued to the words that he typed on his chat bubble.

"I'm sorry for everything.  
I want to see you. I miss you."

He decide to put his phone back to his pocket, and leave the park.

-

At christmas day, after spending his time with the family until 2.45PM, Jaemin went back to the park again, waiting for Jeno to come.

His eyes scanning through the crowd again, hoping to see someone familiar among the busy people. Hours passed and the night comes, yet no signs of him.

Jaemin stared at his phone again, the screen displaying Jeno's number.

I'm sorry for everything, he wants to say.

I miss you, I want to see you

I've been waiting for you, but you never came,

Can you please come quick?

His tears already flowing, knowing that he won't come. But as Jaemin stand up from his seat, his eyes saw a man just standing a few feet away from him.

Jaemin just stared at him, until the man closed their distance and put his arms around him.

"I'm here, Nana" the man whispered to his ears. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long,"

He breaks down into tears hearing the warm, deep voice from the man. He miss it so much.

"I love you, Na Jaemin." He said.

Jaemin take a deep breath, "do you- do you really love me?" He gulped. "Do you really love me, Jeno?"

"I'm sorry it took me a while," Jeno kiss his hair. "I do."

**Author's Note:**

> My first work omg i'm so sorry this is so bad. Actually I write a few fics before, it's just I never posted it lol


End file.
